Little experiment: try to list positive reasons why TF separation is good for you

Lets play a little game, little experiment

Name of the game: justify God’s idea behind  your own separation from your   TF

Object of the game: sit down, and make a list of all positive things that may have been God’s intention behind your TF separation. Every-single-little- thing you might think of.


Well, it’s  been said that righteous man always justifies the Creator, that no matter what are events in his  life, righteous man feels the thought behind the giving of that particular event and this thought is always good, never bad.

So the hypothesis is that God, the Creator, Universe or whatever you would like to call it, always gives us events that are good for us, but we fail to see that since we are operating from our own perspective, that is flawed.

Well, if anything I know that oh to well,

since being separated from my TF is the hardest thing, most painful event I’ve  been given, so far,  in life.


It is beyond hard for me to see that as something positive for me.

But I tried to see it as a positive thing. I tried.

I tried to incorporate this hypothesis that God is giving us just good things and we fail to see things as good since our own perspective is flawed.

Also I tried to see or should I say, sense the thought behind God’s act of separating my TF and me, and to sense it just as a good thing for me.

It’s been said that you should always think of every possible good scenario for a event you see as bad  –  try to think of it as a screenplay, what would be every good motifs behind this particular painful even in your life. Think of any reasons, no matter how ridiculous or minuscule are and  write it down.

Make your own private list of all things that were possible good motifs behind God’s action of giving you this specific “gift” -separation from your TF.

No matter how small, insignificant or stupid some of the reasons may sound to you, just write it down, honestly.

I made my own list with every possible positive thing God wanted me to experience by separating me from my TF.

Now we are at the point that we should incorporated modern TF gurus and teachers idea that one of the most important thing we got by experiencing separation from our TF is to find our self’s, to find our own way, inner power  and so on – this may be true but dont stop at this. List every possible reason you can thing of, make it a game.. 🙂

(Also, no matter how sophisticated this may sound, dont just stop at those few general terms “finding own path, finding yourself” and all that new age -jazz… broad  it up – God is (often) hidden and couple of new age terms that dont mean anything to you personally wont make you understand the essence)

That is what I did with my list, I keep it open to write more reasons, anything I can think of ….

Will this get instant results? Obviously it wont, but it might help at least for a while….

I feel like whenever we are playing with the idea that there is something good behind this horrible event of TF separation, we are in the good path.

And I also know -oh too well- how hard and painful is to see it that way.

Justifying God’s acts and seeing them as exclusively  good is one of the hardest thing a human mind can do, actually.

As you may or may not know it’s been a main focus of a theodicy a huge philosophical and religious branch aimed to  attempt to explain the question of why a good God permits the manifestation of evil in the world.

I used a  simplified version, of a hypothesis from, again, opposite side of the spectrum -from simplified kabbalistic explanation, since I feel its is far more refined that all those apologetics explanation one can find in other sources.

Also, note that is far easier to think of bunch of the reasons why is certain bad event good for other people but not for you in particular. For example, many of us, separated TF,  can easily think of numerous reasons why is TF separation good for a current partners of our TFs. But dont go there and think of it at all.

The trickiest part is to list all  good reasons we can think of on how  TF separation is good for us.





“Sinners gone saints” New Age spiritualists who are saying that TF are not romantic have their own agenda

In every religion, especially Christianity, there was a point in history when religious leaders were taught the masses to denounce the sins,  to repentance, to do acts of re-connecting  to God thru prayers, retreats to the monasteries and start living clean, saint-like lives.

At one point the whole idea of “you can do whatever you want as long as you show repentance, pray, retreat to the monasteries and start living clean, sin-free life” was became a whole new business for the church, they start selling indulgences.

Basically idea behind was to sell people a world view that they can do whatever they want, that is deemed to be sinful, as long as they appear to be remorseful at the end of their life, asking to buy indulgences, donate to the monasteries or seclude in some, they would get to go to the heaven and their sins would be forgiven.

Amount of people who would live like a animals, without basic human consideration to anything, doing all sorts of things and sins imaginable was staggering. But hey they would appear to be remorseful later, buy their way up to the God’s home and heaven and  everything would be dandy.

You can only imagine how they would appear to be saint-like, sin-free, and pure once the time comes for them to appear to be remorseful and to denounce their sins.  They would deem everything unholy, impure and dirty. Everything. Everything corporal and material.

So now we are back to modern day saints, (some) or our TF teachers and gurus, who deem everything that is not 5-d to be unholy, impure, dirty and make it a bad word. Especially word “romantic”.

They are adamant to tell you that TF is not romantic relationship, that your wish to reunite with you TF, to go out and grab a cup of  coffee with your TF, to talk to your TF in person, to phone your TF etc. – is ridiculous, not spiritual enough, stupid, lower vibration and anything else lower level, dirty, wrong and many other bad not-spiritual-enough things….

Even though you are trying to explain to them that  your TF connection with another human being is not like anything you experienced in your life before,

but it is also -in  a most beautiful way – romantic, fascinating, special, tender, beyond-words, dreamy, fantastic…..

Well, alas, they are firmly believers that once you say word “romantic” or mentioned that you would like to talk to your TF again, and grab a cup of coffee with your TF – according to them – you are talking nonsense, non-5d things, not-spiritual-enough things, and they deem you to be some kind of a pathetic loser who has  no idea about anything.

Oh well..

But lets look at who they mostly are.

Vast majority of TF teachers and gurus are middle-aged women with a history of failed marriages, who are been thru teen pregnancies and have kids from it, with history of partying, alcohol and substance abuse and so on….Suddenly they *woke up* (pun intended) one day and decided to become “oh so spiritual” that they became allergic to the word “romantic”, “physical union”, “talking to TF in real life” and so on…

So, I (also a middle age woman) who only had one man in my life, my TF,

I, who always from the age of 6  was wondering about the purpose of life and trying to find God thru both philosophical and religious literature and research,

I,  who wasn’t spending  my teen years nor my twenties partying, having one night stands, and drinking but instead was secluded and immersed in books

I, person  who doesn’t  have kids, failed marriages or relationships, who spent life searching for meaning, who basically only had one meaningful not just romantic but friendly relationship with my TF  wont be bullied to be  ashamed that I want to reunite  in 3d, in real life, with my TF.

I wont let anybody ashamed me from being me,

and part of me is that I want to have a understanding what happened between my TF and me. And the process of obtaining this understanding no matter how painful and slow and argumentative can be at times, it is – romantic.
Romantic in my book, in my personal meaning of the word romantic. And nobody can take that away from me.

So dear reader, who ever you are, dont ever let anybody ashamed you from being you – especially dont let that happened on this complicated TF journey.

I know you might  say I sound egotistical, jaded and judgemental but I’m not, or at least I try not to be.

The reason why is this such a sensitive topic is not me, personally, I’m a tough nuts (since on this TF journey you have to be nut already, you  might as well be  tough one 🙂 ), but after reading so much about how painful this is for others who feel insecure and bullied into not mentioned 3-d, real life contact with their TF, I decided to speak out.

I dont want anybody’s  personal agenda and personal vendetta against certain words and actions to be a source of mine or your insecurities  since  the fact that some of TF teachers and gurus were  living corrupt  and mindless life to the point of their  supposedly “spiritual awakening” and now they are “oh so spiritual, so 5-d” that they want to deem every word, action and desire as impure, dirty, wrong, not- spiritual-enough is their personal agenda  and not something that people who always lived mindful, quiet and righteous  life  should worry about.





Focus is a blessing not a curse

Even though every TF guru or teacher is telling you that you should move on, focus on other things and disperse your attention elsewhere while in separation phase of TF journey, this did not work for me.

Even long before I ever read term TF and before I ever read anything about LOA,I intuitively  tried to disperse my attention to other things (and by that I mean hobbies and things, never other people -that wasn’t a option though) and all I manage to achieve by this is to waste time doing stupid things I dont even remember now.

If you really want to do other things then – do it, but if you are just acting upon a advise  from TF gurus vaguely feeling like you would do anything,  any of hobbies or other things – then it’s not a right path.

If you are feeling this deep, everlasting focus on your TF (not just on them but on you and them both,  together)  think of it as a blessing not as  a cures you are trying to evade.

I would say that is working with the flow, if I have this focus all this time I should use it not trying to run away from it. 🙂

That is just my small insight on the matter 🙂


Desire to physically reunite with your TF is ok

So you have a TF,

both of you are living, breathing, human beings; you were in the relationship or you were friends or you just started getting to know each other, and then something happen that made you two stop communicating with each other, and now you would like to overcome that, to reunite with your  TF (to see them, talk to them, get a closure, or explanation, or continue your relationship).

So you are researching TF and you are trying to understand what keeps you apart, what are the real reasons for you separation, and also you would like to reunite.

But after a while or researching you come up to the wall of people telling you, writing to you that you are not suppose to want, to desire to reunite with your TF, that this is not spiritual enough, that all you should do is be more 5-d and let go of any “romantic notion” you have.

Now you feel confused, since you know and you feel you cant let it go but then again you dont want to seam “less spiritual”, you spent your whole life wondering about meaning of life, about God, about why are we here, what is the purpose of life.

Even though you were always wondering about  that, you were always incline to research  this type of topics, you spend years reading religious, spiritual and philosophical books – TF community deemed you to be not-spiritual enough, not 5d enough and you dont know how to deal with your desire to want to reunite with your TF.

Well, lets talk about this desire.

Thousands and thousands of years religions were trying to control people by telling them that desires are bad and should be suppressed, that everything “physical “, or material is bad and dirty.

Same thing is happening right now in the TF spiritual, new age community.

They are trying to sell you, and literally sell you since all their “energy cleaning programs”comes at hefty price of  $$$ amount of money, the idea that you should just suppress, overcome your desire of physical reunion with your TF, become more 5d and live in 5d forever, of course once you pay them for numerous “energy cleanings”

Thing we should ask is – where this desire comes from,and why do I have this desire, this love towards this other person for so long? Who or what made this desire, how this desire came up to be in me, to exist in me, to be a part of me.

If you are incline to offer some kind of medical, physiological, psychological explanation – good for you, you have your truth and you dont have to read any of this.

If you have no clue what to think, where this desire is from, just try to find your own explanation for it. I’m not here to tell you what to think or to preach you any specific knowledge, I’m just here to offer you the alternative to a TF supposed dogma that you should never want to reunite with your TF in physical (be it just for a talk, or closure, or to grab cup of coffee) .

For me, personally there are two different explanation from two different side of the spectrum that I both combine in one and hold it as something that serves the purpose  right now for me.

First explanation is a part of christian mysticism, and in its simplest form it says that your desire is a God’s  imprint in you, your deepest desire is something God put in you and no matter how unlikely looks right  now that your desire is going to become reality – it will become reality – since it is God’s  imprint in you for a reason, reason being to – become reality.

“Look upon your desires – all of them – as the spoken words of God, and every word or desire a promise.
The reason most of us fail to realize our desires is because we are constantly conditioning them. Do not condition your desire. Just accept it as it comes to you. Give thanks for it to the point that you are grateful for having already received it – then go about your way in peace.” – Neville Goddard

Now you may become more cynical or skeptical and ask me what about all those desires that people have and we deem as bad or unwanted and you may wish to go more philosophical on me, and that is ok.

For now and for that I have to offer you a different kind of outlook on your deepest desire this time from another side of the spectrum – from Kabbalah.

Your desire are still God’s  imprint in you, but you can view them also as a way that  God imprinted  it in you in order for  you to have them, question them (question why do you have those desires), research about them and ultimately become more enlightened being.

Well, if you are reading this text now, and you found it searching TF terms, you are already doing that, having some kind of desires you are researching and wondering about.

I found both of this explanation (that I wrote in here in rather simplistic way) comforting for my own TF situation.

I want to research and question and wonder and become not just a better person (since that is actually a purely egotistical desire) I want to become better in relationship with others,

and first and foremost I want to become better TF to my own TF (no matter does that mean that I want to become better “girlfriend” to him, better friend to him, better companion to him…… call it whatever you will)

So I just dont want to go around ( I mean visiting websites) that keeps telling me (and many like me) that we are not spiritual enough or 5-d enough and that we should stop wanting physical reunion with our TF.


The end of longing is being

This is a quote from a works of Neville Goddard, he was a predecessor of thing we know know as Law of Attraction. Although every TF guru and teacher will tell you that you have to use Law of Attraction in order to reunite with your TF, Law of Attraction is just one of many tools you can and should use.

No matter where in your journey you are, no matter how do you feel about LOA already, the only thing I can tell you for sure is to read a short text by Neville Goddard called “Feeling is the secret”. His texts are out of copyright that means they are free online on many sites (and since I dont advertise anything or anybody I wont post direct links to any site, just use web search engine and you’ll find it)

Unlike other authors who made LOA complicated or too simplistic on simply wrong, he nailed the essence of the thing we could call law of attraction and that is – as  title of his book says – the feeling, that is the secret.

Instead of focusing on what are you thinking and focusing to stay positive all the time, all you have to do is to evoke a feeling of your wish fulfilled and hold on to that feeling. Well, I’m explaining this poorly since I’m not here to talk about LOA, Im here to share how to implement simple techniques to stop longing, yearning, hurting, suffering while on TF journey.

I know what longing is, believe me I know, I was living it half of my life, since the day I met him.

Thing that was a game changer for me is when I discovered Neville’s works and this specific line (and everything he wrote actually) and realized that my yearning and longing comes from the idea that we are disconnected and that we are going to stay disconnected for ever, I didn’t have anything to grasp on, since my mind was analyzing all those obstacles between us, and was searching for some kind of logical explanation how things can work out. Well, that was a wrong way.

After finding out about the term TF and then reading more and more about it, I decided that this term (in its purest, simplest meaning) is something I can apply to my situation. So now I had something to grasp on, although that was far from anything “logical” or “rational”. After pattering myself that we are twin flames, that I am twin flame, and holding onto the notion that TF cannot ever be separated, I decided I stop longing since we are already connected forever.

After a while, longing subside. It wasn’t something that was happened over nigh or was easy. It was really hard. But longing subside.

So if you want to stop hurting while on this painful part of TF journey, find something that resonates with you, that you can hold on and pattern yourself around it. Once longing stop, wanting to spend time whit you TF wont stop nor it ever should, but this painful longing, this awful yearning that tears your soul apart, it will subside.

Why writing this blog?

After spending some time in some public TF groups and sites, I’m starting to be sick of being deemed as a “not-spiritual enough” and ” not-5d enough”.

Some of those comments are from pure-heart  ones  who just dont know any other way of talking about this topic, but some of those comments are from a very special kind of wanna-be spiritual people who are holding onto this specific dogma what TF should and shouldn’t be, even though most of them haven’t actually met their TF at all.

There is this notion in the TF community that TF is some kind of privilege or short-cut to the higher realms, some kind of short-cut to gain more spirituality insights, so people who never actually met their TF are leeching onto this TFnew age-type of spirituality, and also they are translating some of their spiritual experiences that are not in any way TF related to specific TF context.

For someone who spend last two decades being connected to my TF in a specific love bond that transcended friendship and our relationship and our break up and our separation, to be deemed not spiritual-enough and not-5d enough is something I dont care reading anymore – so Ill write my thoughts in here.

Hope you find at least something helpful.

Also I’m just starting to write this, I hope this is going to be available and visible to others, and if by time I dont update that would just mean I messed up settings of this blog.